I hope you dont stone me today, this one am writing about village people controlling you. Well since I am jobless today, let me just make you laugh a little bit but dont worry I am not writing it for you. Remember that your friend that use to behave abnormal, yea especially that one that doesnt use his head in class. Send it to him with a tag I told you before!🤩🤩🤩 Anyway let’s dive into the signs your village people are controlling you.
What, hell no! Oh yes that’s the reason. Ok let’s see why is it that jamb seize only your result or among all your friends your jamb seized just your centre?. Ok tell me why does jamb have to be unfair to just you. Lolz You see you facial expressions has change because you know it’s TRUE. Ok let’s analyse things, you finish secondary school in 2016, went to learn a trade and then from 2018 you have been writing jamb. Ah! Now if you get to 100 level, you will look at all this student and say “na condition make cray fish bend” brother/sister those children didnt cause anything they are just enjoying their life.
For remedy and removal of this controller see your pastor and then visit all your village people and buy them gala them go free you sharp.
2.when you spy in exam hall and 5minutes to the end of the exam your friend shout…”jesus I have been writing the wrong thing o”
Dont worry this wount hurt. But remember those days when you use to spy?. Dont forget those days that you almost copied someone name and also dont forgot when god wanted to pay you back for not reading by putting you in the middle of two full student back then. Remember how you ate pencil through out. Anyway if you are a friend of this number two dont be ashamed just say hi. Those days when we use to spy in class, my friend was put close to a guy who he expected to have read because of his glasses without him being aware that the guy was also hoping he too had read for the exam. Hope you know the end of the story.
3.when you copy the wrong correction in class.
I got you here. Tell me you didnt do it? Remember when you were in primary school and then they did class work and you copied from your friend and add your own to it to form smartness and at the end you still failed it aand because of first to finish you also fail the correction you copied from the board? That’s the third signs.
4.When you have class by 8 and you decided to cook beans by 7:30 with faith.
All those student that are used to cooking beans in school can I hear hey from you. Anyway if you have attempted to cook beans by 7:30 and hoping the god of fire will speed the cooking process, I dont know what to tell you sha. GoD will visit your case!
5. When you cant be diligent in something.
Anyway this one is true, if you have a problem doing something for a long time, then I must see your village people at work. examples include those guys that drop out in 200level after fight for slot in jamb. Una case dey god hand. Those that started blogging and left the blog to die, the village people that control internet is look for you o, those that started this article and didnt complete it. Only god go fit help you and lastly you that is reading it and your plan is not to comment or share or even insulting the writer as you smile. Dont worry the god of the villagers is coming for you.
Those of you that use to do the opposite of things come out side. You know yourself, ok let me start listing out. If you know you spied in exam hall instead of reading come outside, if you know you were supposed to read a months to your exam and you only read just the last night come outside, if you know you as a boy most of your friends are girls or as a girl most of your friends are boys come outside, if you know you are suppose to share this article and you just read and plan to leave come outside, if you know your c.g.p.a is below 2 out of a scale of 5 come outside and lastly if you think your village people is controlling you, come outside. Now see the remedy To your problems
You may be asking me now, what should I do now that I have realized that my village people are controlling me ? . It is very easy, prepare a dozen of virgin fowl(only the fowl that have given birth o), three days old shark (you can get if from the river niger), a keg of palm wine that has not be tap from the tree by anyone, then 20k as offering to the gods and then consult the gods after 7 market days. Wait what are you thinking: dont tell me you are thinking of who you will pay the items to, please send it to my house o. Ah! You must have forgot what achebbe said in his story the gods are not to blame or better still the movie the gods must be crazy. Dont laugh alone, share to others and let’s make this quaratination a funny one.if you like, check the list of village people worrying you here on wikipedia